Avoiding Burnout for the Sandwich Generation

Sandwich generation caregivers are all around us; maybe you’re one too.

These individuals are typically aged 40-59 and are “sandwiched” between two groups that they care for: their children and their parents. In 2021, the Pew Research Center found that approximately 23% of US adults were caring for a child under 18—or providing financial support to a child over 18—while also caring for an aging parent.

Family caregivers, especially those of ailing or disabled parents, tend to dedicate between two and three hours per day to unpaid care work. This can include managing their parent’s health needs, preparing meals, making and driving them to appointments, and completing household chores for them like cleaning and laundry. That adds up to 14-21 hours per week—an unpaid part-time job on top of most sandwich generation caregivers’ paid work.

The sandwich generation is subject to some heavy physical, emotional, and financial tolls, which can lead to compassion fatigue or adverse health effects from chronic stress. In this article, we discuss the issues contributing to the sandwich phenomenon and what caregivers can do to manage the demands of caring for their aging parents.

The Origin of the “Sandwich Generation”

The “sandwich generation” moniker was coined in 1981 by social workers Dorothy Miller and Elaine Brody, who noticed that certain middle aged individuals were pressed by needs on both sides—from their parents and their children. The term can also be used when an individual is caring for a grandparent or grandchild (or, less commonly, an elderly adult or child to whom they are not related).

While it’s true that multigenerational households were more common in the US about a hundred years ago, the current sandwich generation phenomenon is impacted by two main factors: longer life expectancies for seniors and higher barriers for adult children to gain full financial independence, with growing numbers returning to live with parents in their 20s (via Pew Research). The US is also experiencing a care crisis for both young children and elderly adults, with a gap between demand and resources in most states.

Fast Facts about the Sandwich Generation

Some recent trends have been observed about the sandwich generation:

• The majority of the current sandwich generation are Gen X, with most Baby Boomers having aged out and Millennials beginning to enter the phase.
• Family caregivers are more likely to be women (60%) than men. Care recipients are also more likely to be female.
• Caregivers are more likely to be married than unmarried.
  Of all race/ethnicity groups, they are most likely to be Hispanic (31%).
• They are likely (43%) to have a household income over $100,000; however, they are less likely to report that they “live comfortably” versus their counterparts who are not supporting a parent.
• About a third of the sandwich generation support a parent financially, with most of the support going to ongoing expenses such as monthly bills.
• About 63% of the sandwich generation who have an adult child have supported them financially within the past year. (This includes parents of children who are in college.)
• Most caregivers (61-84%, depending on their parents’ physical health) report providing emotional support to their parents at least some of the time; similar numbers report providing emotional support to their adult children.
• Sandwiched caregivers are more likely to say they are pressed for time than their non-caregiving counterparts.

An earlier study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and Caring Across Generations found that about a third of sandwich generation caregivers have their parent living in their home, while another half of those surveyed live within 20 minutes of their parent. Most of their survey subjects did not have flexible work hours, sick leave, or employee support programs that would help them balance their competing demands.

Resources for the Sandwich Generation

Sandwich generation stress is multifaceted. Limited time and financial resources compound with the emotional effects of caring for an elderly parent, supporting and giving attention to children, and balancing work and personal pursuits. Without a community of support, this can lead to burnout, fast.

The first resource these caregivers should consider is whether their parent’s condition makes them a candidate for home care. If your elderly loved one requires help with basic Activities of Daily Living (ADLs, as described by the VA), a home care agency can provide a trustworthy reprieve. For some military veterans and their spouses, these services can even be covered by the VA’s Aid and Attendance benefit.

Where home care is not the right option, caregivers should consider respite care. Respite care is crucial to the family caregiver’s rest and recovery; you cannot pour out of an empty cup. Whether the respite is provided by another family member, a friend, or an adult day care center, unpaid caregivers should explore this option to maintain a better balance of work and rest in their lives.

Another consideration is whether there are care-related tasks that can be made easier or less time consuming. Grocery delivery is available in most locales. Cleaning, laundry, or meal prep services might take a huge load off the caregiver’s week. Technology has made it easier than ever to check in with an elderly parent who lives independently, especially far enough away that frequent visits are difficult.

Sandwiched caregivers might also want to speak with their aging parents about legal and financial matters that should be resolved while they are in a healthier state, such as power of attorney for medical decisions. Having these details ironed out ahead of needing them is an investment in your future peace of mind.

Self-Care & Resilience for Sandwich Generation Caregivers

Sandwich generation caregivers are burdened with many demands and should become comfortable asking for help. Share your struggles with friends, who will likely understand what you are facing. Find support groups that meet in person or online, and learn about healthy boundary-setting for caregivers. If you don’t feel like yourself, or frequently feel negative emotions or chronic exhaustion, take a mental health test and consider counseling through a reputable source.

Take the time to nurture relationships and hobbies that bring you joy. Eat healthy meals and get regular exercise. Get a full night’s sleep. Listen to music, watch your favorite shows, and have a laugh as often as possible.

Self-care is a critical part of caring for others; do not neglect it or feel guilty for taking time for yourself. If your loved one needs home care, our VetAssist mission is to make home care easily and quickly accessible for those who qualify through the VA Pension with Aid and Attendance benefit. Veterans Home Care can help you determine whether you or your loved one will be eligible to receive the benefit, which can cover some or all of the cost of home care, and we make it easy to apply. Chat with us via our website, or call us at (888) 314-6075.