The Best Books for Caregivers of Elderly Relatives

Over one in five US adults aged 45-64 serve as a caregiver for an elderly relative (via the CDC). This relative is usually a parent or a spouse managing a chronic condition or living with a disability.

Family caregivers must manage a host of taxing, complicated needs for which they are seldom prepared—on top of working paid jobs and maintaining other relationships (or caring for children). Caregiving is demanding work, and caregivers often feel alone, trapped, lost, or guilty. A wide range of books have been published over the last decade to address these feelings, as well as the practical needs of elder caregivers newly navigating this frontier. In this spirit, we have assembled a few lists of elder care books that might benefit you or the caregiver you know.

What’s Special about These Lists?

The books recommended here are highly rated by readers and either published within the last decade or have a new edition out. They cover everything from practical guides to personal stories that will ease a caregiver’s isolation. These caregiving books will bring experience, humor, and hope to your caregiving journey.

Without further ado, here are some excellent books for caregivers of elderly relatives.

Practical Support

These books cover a wide range of topics such as navigating your loved one’s healthcare and the Medicare system, managing your time between caregiving and other responsibilities, and preparing for end-of-life care. Written by medical professionals, social workers, and other gerontologists, these caregiver books include checklists, guides, and actionable plans to empower caregivers who feel overwhelmed.

• The Complete Eldercare Planner: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help, 4th Edition (by Joy Loverde; link)
• When Your Aging Parent Needs Help: A Geriatrician’s Step-by-Step Guide to Memory Loss, Resistance, Safety Worries & More (by Leslie Kernisan and Paula Spencer Scott; link)
• When Caregiving Calls: Guidance as You Care for a Parent, Spouse, or Aging Relative (by Aaron Blight; link)
• My Parent’s Keeper: The Guilt, Grief, Guesswork, and Unexpected Gifts of Caregiving (by Jody Gastfriend and Patrick Kennedy; link)
• Stand by Me: A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving (by Allison Applebaum; link)
• The Sudden Caregiver: A Roadmap for Resilient Caregiving (by Karen Warner Schueler; link)
• Toolkit for Caregivers: Tips, Skills, and Wisdom to Maximize Your Time Together (by Deidre Edwards; link)
• Cruising through Caregiving: Reducing the Stress of Caring for Your Loved One (by Jennifer L. Fitzpatrick; link)
• Living with Dying: A Complete Guide for Caregivers (by Jahnna Beecham and Katie Ortlip; link)
• The Caregiver’s Companion: Caring for Your Loved One Medically, Financially, and Emotionally while Caring for Yourself (by Carolyn A. Brent; link)

(If you are caring for an elderly loved one from a distance, consider these essential components of care.)

Emotional Support & Self-Care Resources

These selections are focused on the caregiver’s wellbeing. Caregiving for elderly relatives is strenuous work and can exhaust anyone emotionally and physically, opening the door to burnout, compassion fatigue, and even illness. Self-care is a critical skill to develop and flex often. These books will teach you to “put on your own oxygen mask first” and find the rest and renewal you need to continue the caregiving journey.

• The Conscious Caregiver: A Mindful Approach to Caring for your Loved One without Losing Yourself (by Linda Abbit; link)
• We’re Stronger than We Look: Insights and Encouragement for the Caregiver’s Journey (by Jill Brown; link)
• Self-Care for Caregivers: A Practical Guide to Caring for You While You Care for Your Loved One (by Susanne White; link)
• Dear Caregiver, It’s Your Life Too: 71 Self-Care Tips to Manage Stress, Avoid Burnout and Find Joy Again while Caring for a Loved One (by Katie Duncan; link)
• Care for the Caregiver: Arriving at the Mental Space You Desire (by Jazmin Graham; link)

Dementia & Alzheimer’s Caregiver Guides

This list includes resources specifically for caregivers of dementia and Alzheimer’s patients. With layperson explanations of what is happening to your loved one, these books outline strategies for keeping them safe and happy while acknowledging the difficult work of caring for a relative affected by memory and cognitive loss.

• • The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss (by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins; link)
  • When Reasoning No Longer Works: A Practical Guide for Caregivers Dealing with Dementia & Alzheimer’s Care (by Angel Smits; link)
  • The Caregiver’s Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One (by Gail Weatherill; link)
  • The Dementia Caregiver’s Survival Guide: An 11-Step Plan to Understand the Disease and How to Cope with Financial Challenges, Patient Aggression, and Depression without Guilt, Overwhelm, or Burnout (by Janet G. Cruz; link)
  • A Caregiver’s Guide to Dementia: Using Activities and Other Strategies to Prevent, Reduce, and Manage Behavioral Symptoms (by Laura N. Gitlin and Catherine Verrier Piersol; link)
  • Creating Moments of Joy along the Alzheimer’s Journey: A Guide for Families and Caregivers (by Jolene Brackey; link)
  • The Spectrum of Hope: An Optimistic and New Approach to Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias (by Gayatri Devi; link)
  • Creative Care: A Revolutionary Approach to Dementia and Elder Care (by Anne Basting; link)

(Don’t do it alone; see how respite care can alleviate the stress of caring for a loved one.)

Personal Stories & Memoirs

Sometimes you just need to know you’re not alone. These memoirs and personal narratives—even a graphic novel!—feature relatable stories to ease a caregiver’s self-judgment, guilt, and isolation as they navigate the rocky territory of caregiving.

• Mother Lode: Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver (by Gretchen Staebler; link)
• Can We Talk About Something More Pleasant? A Memoir (by Roz Chast; link)
• No Saints Around Here: A Caregiver’s Days (by Susan Allen Toth; link)
• While They’re Still Here: A Memoir (by Patricia Williams; link)
• Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America (by Kate Washington; link)

If you know someone who might benefit from a good caregiver book—whether for practical or moral support—please share these lists and let them know help is out there!

If your loved one needs home care, our VetAssist mission is to make home care easily and quickly accessible for those who qualify through the VA Pension with Aid and Attendance benefit. Veterans Home Care can help you determine whether you or your loved one will be eligible to receive the benefit, which can cover some or all of the cost of home care, and we make it easy to apply. Chat with us via our website, or call us at (888) 314-6075.